Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Stylist Redneck Ruminates

Can’t help but notice her fundamental beauty as I look out across the driveway. Always wanted a Dodge Charger, and her Deep Ocean Blue color just warms my heart. So I picked up the November 2011 issue of “Car and Driver” magazine to read a feature article by staff writer Aaron Robinson on the new 2012 model. My attention was sharpened by a couple of bullet points along side the main article: “…Floats like a butterfly, stings like a Super Bee” and “…surprisingly sophisticated…”

But I darn near tossed that irreverent rag as the main article starts out: “Here’s the thing about Dodge: You expect it to be dumb and redneck.” Only slightly offended I continued to read on. “Who would even know why the number 392 is significant to Dodge except Coors-chugging Mopar wonks.” And now my feelings are getting hurt.

The article then slowly turns: “May the ghost of General Robert E. Lee smite us for our crass stereotyping.” And I feel a bit better now with General Lee on my side as Robinson continues: “Okay, the car is huge. Bringing home a Charger is like adopting a water buffalo; you need space.” Got to admit a smile crossed my face now to acknowledge that comment. Dodge claims a 175-mph top end speed, sports big gauges imbedded in a machine-turned real aluminum dashboard. Cylinder deactivation and variable cam timing augment the vastly improved suspension. I guess that buyers of who want a Big-Eight, 6.4 engine won’t mind it’s 17-MPG rating. You economy minded tree hugging “wonks” can always do an engine downsize to that frisky little 3.5 6-Banger. But then…where’s the fun in that. I suspect that’s a bit like sex with a ninety-year-old prostitute who claims to have a headache.

No comments:

Post a Comment