Monday, August 15, 2016

Confusing To Be RED

Reading from his handy teleprompter, Obie says it's all good.  Take it away Hillary...

Some edited thoughts received recently from a good friend and former associate:

It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become. The following is a recap of my current identity:

  • I was born a white male, that makes me a racist.
  • I am a fiscal and moral conservative, that makes me a fascist.
  • I am heterosexual, thus making me homophobic.
  • I am non-union – except for the final dozen years of working life where I was given no known choice, and that makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
  • I am a Christian, that makes me an infidel.
  • I am older than 65 and retired, that makes me a useless old man.
  • I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, that makes me a reactionary.
  • I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, that makes me a xenophobe.
  • I value my safety and that of my family and associates; therefore, I appreciate the police and the legal system, and that makes me a right-wing extremist.
  • I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, that makes me anti-socialist.
  • I acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, although going to night school while working full-time takes several years longer, and this makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
  • I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, that makes me a militarist.
  • I believe in the U.S. Constitution Amendment II and the human right to own and bear Arms, and this makes me a RED-neck (RED = Retired Extremely Dangerous).

Please help me come to terms with this, because I‘m not sure who I am anymore! And the most recent problem – I'm not sure which bathroom I should use.

No comments:

Post a Comment